My mom was an incredible woman. She was beautiful, intelligent, loving, energetic, passionate, and a thousand percent dedicated to her family and her faith. She was an outstanding artist, therapist, writer, and so much more- a true renaissance woman with flare.
She grew up in San Francisco and was a flower child of the ‘60’s. But what a lot of you may not know is that my Mom did not have the easiest life growing up. Her home life was full of terror and abuse and because of this, for many years of her life she suffered from PTSD. She later wrote a book about her experiences, titled “The Ultimate Betrayal, A Psychotherapy Journal of a Torturous Childhood and Survival.” She thought that nobody really cared about her book after she published it, but if you look at the reviews online, it’s actually quite the contrary. Some of the reviews read: “Inspiring book about survival and recovery. Highly recommended for anyone looking for hope in therapy,” “This impassioned work left me awed and humbled by the author’s strength in surviving, healing from, and recounting her years of physical, emotional and psychological devastation. Don’t miss” and “I would encourage this to be required reading in any psychology class.” My Mom was a warrior, and she faced every challenge placed before her head on. For years she battled with depression and intensive therapy, but eventually she did find peace in her heart. She would definitely want me to mention though, that PTSD is not something that ever really goes away, but is more like a silent passenger-she tried so hard every day to not let her PTSD rule her life. My Mom was a fighter and she never let the PTSD win.
Later in her life, Mom attended Santa Rosa Junior College, and it was here where she met the man of her dreams- her soul mate, her partner in crime, and as she would say, her better half- my Dad. There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to describe their love for each other. As a kid I used to say it was disgusting actually, mostly because it was so cute. My Mom would say that her sole reason for survival was finding Judaism, and undoubtedly- my Dad. He was her rock, her heart and her soul-her absolute everything. They had recently celebrated 44 years in love and marriage.
The following are some things that my Dad wrote about my Mom:
Things that were important to her: Justice, civil rights, mental health, and making sure Howard was fed :)
Something strange: Mom loved my Dad’s nose and loved kissing it- she even wanted to bronze it.
Things my Dad loved about my Mom: Her laugh, her voice, the smell of her perfume, her smile, her energy, her brilliant mind, her encyclopedic memory of English history, and her passion.
Something sad: Dad always thought Mom was a stunning beauty with a royal profile and high Hawaiian cheekbones, yet she often said she thought she was ugly. Whenever he would say she was beautiful she would always reply, “Love is blind!”
Unfulfilled: She wanted to visit the Holocaust and Smithsonian museums in Washington DC, return to California to enjoy the ocean, trees and mountains and be a Nanny to Asher and Lily’s kids. She also wanted to return to her practice as a Marriage Family Therapist.
A few words from my sister Moana:
My mom loved to sing and had an appreciation for music that was unparalleled. I loved how she encouraged/insisted that we all learn an instrument. Mom was extremely passionate for reading anything and everything that she could get her hands on- she could never get enough. She was absolutely not a bystander who just let things happen- and she definitely passed that on to all three of us kids. Mom used to find the most inappropriate things to be hilarious which is probably where all three of us get that. At one Passover dinner we were all talking about our work and a friend of mine mentioned he worked in the Navy-specifically working with nuclear weapons. It was a very interesting job with lots of great conversation and of course my Mom asks- “Can you still have kids?!” Who asks that at a family dinner table? My Mom. Another uncomfortable subject my Mom loved to bring up was sex-but she always felt it was important to share. Mom would always make decisions in purchases that I MUST HAVE, even though I would often disagree, but later I would always appreciate it- something I didn’t even know I needed. I’m going to miss calling her to tell her something I knew she would love to read or know, and how she always dressed in and shined in fancy jewel colors-she was always attracted to the sparkly things in life.
I love you mom.
A few words from Lily:
A few days before my Mom passed, I found out that I was having a baby girl. My Mom was the first person I called and she SCREAMED on the phone in excitement-OH MY GOD!!!!! We decided to name our daughter Anuhea (AH-NEW-HAY-UH) with the middle names: Maria after Mom, and Linda after my fiancé’s mother. She was so happy to hear this, and felt so honored that we included her name- she even sent me an email later about how excited she was. As much as it pains me to write this, I feel grateful in my heart that I had the chance to tell her, and that it made her so ridiculously happy. I’m sad that she won’t be able to see my daughter grow up, but I know that her spirit will live on in all three of us. Mom did get to see me as a mother with my son Kaleo (KAH-LAY-OH). And I think the most profound thing she ever said to me, was that I was an amazing mother, and that she wasn’t worried about me- which was pretty crazy to hear because literally every time that I would call her she would begin every conversation with- “What’s wrong?.” Nothing Mom I would say. “Sorry, it’s a Jewish mother thing” she would reply. I’m going to miss her voice, her encouraging/ sometimes irritating emails, her cooking, and seeing her beautiful face light up with a smile. I love you Mom.
Finally, an incredible piece written by my brother Asher:
EH-moo-NAH (Which in Hebrew means Faith)
When I think about my Mom, I always come back to the word Faith.
To accept as truth.
Faith in Religion.
All Religions,but mostly she would say “Just a little bit more in Judaism”.
Faith in self.
No obstacle too great. You can do it!
Faith in others.
Good does exist, if you haven't met them, you will.
Faith that no matter the storm, no matter how bad the weather, the sun always rises.
And tomorrow is a new day.
The truth is that although we did not always see eye to eye,
We always had faith in each other.
If you mean it from the heart,
then all you need is Faith.
I love you Mom.
I have Faith.
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